What Is Head-Hopping?
Don’t head-hop!
You’ve probably heard this sentiment or writing rule if you’re part of the writing community and even just dipped your toe onto #writertok or #booktok.
But what does it mean? And is it as terrible as it seems to be?
Let’s get into it!
NOTE: Keep in mind that head-hopping is really a “crime” committed when we’re using first-person or third-person limited POV. If you are wanting an all-knowing narrator, you may be better off writing in third-person omniscient POV.
What is Head-Hopping?
The TLDR definition of head-hopping is when a writer hops between different characters’ perspectives (“heads”) within the same scene.
Generally, it creates massive confusion, makes you look like a newbie, and is widely unloved by editors and the reading community.
Tips & Head-Hopping Checklist below!
Keep Reading
Why Does Head-Hopping Spoil Fiction?
Here are four ways why it’s essential to hold your character’s viewpoint rather than head-hopping:
Head-hopping can be jarring.
Imagine reading Harry Potter — we’re going to use Harry Potter throughout this blog since most of us have read it. So, imagine we’re reading Harry playing quidditch against Slytherin.
Here’s an example:
Harry sat on his broom high above the Quidditch pitch, his hand gripping the coarse wooden handle. Dark clouds were moving in over the lake, and the wind had begun to pick up. Ginny told him to wear his goggles before they walked out onto the pitch. He wished he had listened to her.
A glint of gold swept past him.
“Finally…” he breathed, eyeing the surrounding air around him.
The snitched hovered nearby the stand where most of the professors sat. He dared to look away to see where Malfoy was — flying toward him! He looked back, the snitch still hovered there, wings a blur. Why was Malfoy flying directly at him?
Malfoy slowed. “Maybe you need to get your eyes checked, Potter. Because your glasses aren’t helping you see a thing.”
Malfoy was looking behind him, but the snitch still hovered near the stands.
“I think you’re the one who needs to get your eyes checked.” He leaned forward, and his broom responded, sending him sailing toward the snitch.
We’re totally with Harry, and only him, in this scene.
Now imagine the same scene, but let’s add in head-hopping:
Harry sat on his broom high above the Quidditch pitch, his hand gripping the coarse wooden handle. Dark clouds were moving in over the lake, and the wind had begun to pick up. Ginny told him to wear his goggles before they walked out onto the pitch. He wished he had listened to her.
A glint of gold swept past him.
Malfoy sat up straighter on his broom, straining his eyes to see something. Anything. If it weren’t for his father demanding him to play Quidditch, he wouldn’t be shivering 500 feet in the air on a Saturday morning. He hated Quidditch. He hated getting up early.
Harry’s head turned when he heard the familiar sound of the snitch’s wings. “Finally…”
The snitched hovered nearby the stand where most of the professors sat. He dared to look away to see where Malfoy was — flying toward him! He looked back, the snitch still hovered there, wings a blur. Why was Malfoy flying directly at him?
Malfoy pushed his broom to its limits. He would be damned if he didn’t get the snitch this time. No way Potter was coming first again.
He slowed, seeing Potter sitting like an idiot in midair. “Maybe you need to get your eyes checked, Potter. Because your glasses aren’t helping you see a thing.”
I’m being grossly obvious, but you see it, right?
We have access to both Harry's and Draco’s internal experiences. It’s hard to follow or know whose head we’re really in. It’s confusing, it’s jarring, and it takes us right out of the immersive experience a novel is meant to provide.
It’s giving whiplash, which we’re not looking for when we read. Again, if you’re using third-person omnipresent throughout the entirety of your book, then head-hopping is a big factor of that POV. However, if you’re switching between limited and omnipresent POV – that’s where you’ll lose some readers.
Head-hopping diminishes suspense
Not that there was a lot of suspense in the little scene I wrote, but there is some when Malfoy is rushing toward Harry. We end up asking ourselves, why is Malfoy doing that? And then, once he gets to Harry, we find out – he thinks he sees the snitch and, of course, has to get a dig in.
In the scene where head-hopping occurs, we discover Malfoy’s thoughts sooner. It entirely deflates the little bit of suspense that was in this scene.
Only knowing one POV in a scene allows writers to create suspense. It inspires the readers to ask questions about what’s to come, get excited, and immerse themselves in the narrative so much more.
Another example. If The Hunger Games jumped from Katniss’s POV, to Peeta’s POV, and to any tribute she shared a scene with, it would be a much less intense book to read. Because we would know what’s coming, we’d know what the other tributes think.
Head-hopping is less authentic
When writers head-hops, they tell the readers they’re reading a story. And the entire point of reading fiction is to get lost in the narrative and forget the state of the world for an hour or more.
Being in Harry’s POV allows us to walk through the world as Harry, and only Harry. We can pretend we’re Harry Potter for as long as we pick up one of those books.
Staying in one character’s POV is what happens in real life. We are only in our heads. We only see, hear, think, smell, and touch what we’re experiencing. That doesn’t happen when there is head-hopping in a story.
Head-hopping can be confusing
When writers head-hop, readers have to take time to track each character’s internal experience. If a reader has to stop reading to figure out what the hell is going on in a book — that’s a huge literary no-no.
Of course, we want to provoke thought in our readers based on our themes, plot, or characters. What we don’t want, as writers, is for our readers to put the book down because they can’t make heads or tails whose perspective they’re in.
If you want to write from a limited viewpoint, stick to it. If you want to switch character POVs, make sure something explicitly tells the reader you’re switching POv, like a scene break or a new chapter.
A Head-Hopping Checklist
First, we need to identify the characters in the scene you’re about to write. And decide which one of them is going to be the viewpoint character.
Remember, you can have multiple POVs in a book. Just make sure they’re separated by chapters or scene breaks.
Imagine if George Martin did label his chapters with his characters’ names. CHAOS.
Viewpoint Character Checklist
The readers will be able to access the viewpoint characters:
● Thoughts
● Emotional responses
● Visceral reactions
● The five senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch
Non-Viewpoint Character Checklist
The readers will be able only to access these parts of non-viewpoint characters:
● Observable behavior: movements, expressions, gestures
● Audible behavior: what they say, how they’re breathing, tone of voice, and vocal gestures
If you forget all that, try to remember that your viewpoint character can only see, feel, think, hear, smell, and touch what you could if you were to insert yourself.
Happy Writing,
Kourtney